so after I popped my blog cherry with my some-what emo post "still mad", I was going through some old family stuff and i struck GOLD! I found a video my dad had taken of our family when i was six. Now, although i was crying like baby through the entire thing, it was really nice to hear his voice. I have been really angry at myself lately because I haven't been responding to my dads death all that well. But im pretty sure it was because the last couple years he was alive, he wasnt himself. He wasnt the dad i remember. But after watching this video of him, all my questions of "did i really even know him?" or "was he even the same dad as before?" all went down the drain. The dad my sisters and brother knew was the dad who has been sick. The dad I knew is a whole different person. He was creative, loving, AWAKE, happy, and as always hilarious. I guess the reason I cant cry is... well.... I lost my dad three years ago. Although there was a point in time this year when he really pulled through for me during some heart ache of boy and his infected new girl toy of the month (haha yes morgan you know). "Well Britt.. you know what the difference between love and herpes is right?? Herpes lasts forever."
He always had away for making me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Man i miss him.
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